Why I’m Leaving the NHS: The Toxic Reality I Can No Longer Ignore

For years, I believed I would retire in the ambulance service. It was secure, stable, and a job for life—at least, that’s what I told myself. But over time, I began to see things differently.

Following in My Mum’s Footsteps

My mum has been a nurse for over 40 years, dedicating her life to the NHS. I suppose I was influenced by that, unknowingly trying to follow in her footsteps. Becoming a paramedic felt like a natural path—respected, well-paid (or so I thought), and with a pension to secure my future. In 2014, when I joined as a student paramedic, it was my first ‘proper’ job.

In the beginning, I loved it. Driving on blue lights, the freedom of taking as long as we needed with patients, the feeling of making a difference—it all fed my ego and gave me a sense of purpose. But that didn’t last. These days, it’s completely normal to see up to ten patients in a single shift—if you’re not one of the many crews stuck waiting in the back of an ambulance for hours because the hospitals are full. The pressure has increased, the time we can spend with each patient has decreased, and the system feels more stretched than ever.

And I can’t help but feel that, as a society, we need to do more to take care of ourselves—to take ownership of our health and well-being—so we can better support the system instead of relying on it to fix everything. But that’s a blog post for another day.

The Realisation That Changed Everything

For years, I never questioned my future in the NHS. I had gained so much experience, worked across different roles, built up multiple skill sets—I had made myself useful. I thought I was set for life.

But then, I made a choice that would change everything: I stopped drinking alcohol.

That was the turning point. With sobriety came clarity. The fog lifted, and I saw things for what they really were.

• I wasn’t just tired from shift work—I was completely drained, physically and emotionally.

• I wasn’t just going through a rough patch—I was stuck in a system that demanded everything from me and gave little in return.

• I had always been able to "suck it up" as part of the job, but suddenly, I couldn’t ignore the truth anymore.

  
  

And the hardest truth to face? I was giving the best and most positive version of myself to work—and I had nothing left for my family.

I had my priorities all wrong. I was so committed to helping people that I had forgotten about my own people. The ones that mattered the most.

The Physical, Mental, and Emotional Toll of Working in the NHS

The research is undeniable—shift work, especially night shifts, is detrimental to health. Studies show that shift workers are at a higher risk of:

🔹 Heart disease and metabolic disorders.

🔹 Mental health struggles including depression and anxiety.

🔹 Burnout and emotional exhaustion from chronic stress.

And it’s no surprise. One in three NHS doctors are so exhausted that their ability to treat patients is affected. (Guardian, 2025)

For paramedics, it’s even worse. 75% of ambulance staff retire before the age of 60, unable to continue due to physical or emotional burnout. The job wears you down, and the reality is, many don’t last.

And then there’s the emotional toll. Seeing people at their most vulnerable, watching families fall apart in grief, hearing the harrowing screams of someone who has just lost a loved one—those moments stay with you. No amount of medical training prepares you for that.

The cost of burnout isn’t just personal—it’s financial. NHS staff absences due to stress and burnout cost the UK taxpayer £12.1 billion a year. (What Works Wellbeing, 2024)

A Broken System That Takes More Than It Gives

I’ve worked with some of the best people in the NHS—paramedics, nurses, and doctors who genuinely care. The NHS is full of incredible people doing incredible work. But the system itself? It’s stretched beyond belief.

And when staff feel undervalued—particularly because of poor pay and impossible working conditions—it chips away at morale.

And the truth is, NHS pay is not fit for purpose. Not for:

🔹 The level of responsibility.

🔹 The emotional weight of the job.

🔹 The sacrifices made daily.

Public sector workers are expected to give everything for very little in return. And I refuse to give my life away to a system that does not value it.

The Silver Lining: What the NHS Gave Me

Despite the toxicity, I am grateful for what this career has given me.

✔ Resilience. Handling trauma, navigating pain and suffering, and having the toughest conversations.

✔ Deep empathy. I’ve seen humanity at its best and worst.

✔ Lifelong friendships and connections.

✔ It gave me love—I met my husband through this job.

✔ It gave me family—I became a mum while working here.

But now it’s time to move on.

If You Feel Trapped, There Is a Way Out

If you’re working in the NHS and feel drained, burnt out, and wondering if this is all life has to offer—you are not alone. And you are not stuck.

Right now, it might feel impossible to imagine another way. When you’ve given so much to a career, the idea of leaving can feel overwhelming, even terrifying.

But I want you to know this: there is more for you.

💡 You are allowed to want more. More freedom. More balance. More purpose.

💡 You do not have to stay in a career that is breaking you.

💡 You can create a life that actually works for you.

The first step? Clarity. Getting clear on what you want. And then taking small, intentional steps toward building a life that aligns with that vision.

That’s exactly what I’ve done. And it’s exactly what I now help others do.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to help. My coaching is designed for those who are ready to break free from the cycles that are keeping them stuck. If you’re curious about what’s next for you… let’s talk.

Because life is too short to stay stuck in something that no longer serves you.